The ever turning wheel of life.

Hello everyone,my life has been very busy so it has been awhile since i visited my site.So many adventures in life in such a short time.It all just shows that the wheel of life continually runs ,and runs ,everchanging ones life.I'll start with springtime.This past spring i fell deeply in love ,had what i believed to be a very good relationship,very loving and sincere,we had even decided to marry.Well as fate would have it ,the ghosts of past started creeping in ,it's nobodys fault just life circumstances and things that were happening in his life that created a wall for us to move further ahead.So me being the protective one over my heart ,i called off the wedding,it was one of the hardest things i ever had to do in my life.Sometimes we have to sacrifice to help others ,and that is what i did here ,God has given me the ability to help and minister to others so i used my gifting here.The old saying is ,,,If you set something free that you love and it comes back it was always yours if it does not it never was,Time will tell in this instance.Before all this happened ,we had a great time in the upnorth woods ,where he had lived ,i was able to get to know 4 beautiful children in the process and i stay in touch with them still today ,my heart was definately touched by all of them.Now i'm in a new town living at a wonderful friends house ,we are getting to spend alot of quality time together,and that is good for the heart and soul . I have also had much opportunity to spend with my kids and grandkids ,& family in milwaukee .Many adventures still lie ahead this summer i believe ,and i'm sure many more changes to come as the wheel of life does not slow down for a minute and if your not careful you can blink and it may all be gone ,,Blessings to all with love ,pam

a brand new life

Hello everyone!My,my how life can change quickly.I have fallen head over heels in love with a wonderful man by the name of Michael,since i last wrote a blog.Hmmm,so very much to say.I'll start with he is a good godly christian man ,strong in his faith and walk,he is kind,loving,caring,and very respectful.I feel like a little princess right now,fairytales do come true my friends.God is great,in the last year i have prayed and said to the lord what kind of man i would like in my life ,i laid out real specifics for him,then i said youir will and your timing lord not mine,,and he has answered me with an Angel.we have fallen deep in love and are to be married this summer,i will be starting a new way of living life as i am moving to upnorth wisconsin,beautiful area and views.i will be living on 40 acres of land ,i'm sure i will not be bored in fact this summer will probably fly by in an instant as we will be busy building additions onto the trailer home ,and getting an apartment ready as well as myself tending to a large garden.there will be times of fun and family as well.I am looking forward to my new life with this amazing new man,and all the new stepkids i will have ,,GOD is truly awesome and mighty as he hears us even when we don't think he does ,,he gets all glory and praise for all the new blessing that have come into my life ,,praise to him!!

AWAKE OH SLEEPY ONES !!!!

Hello,,it's been a little bit since i have been on here .Life has been quite busy as of late.more and more i find myself as i'm getting older ,thinking of life and the circles we spin in throughout it,The ever changing order of our life.We are forever surprised,challenged ,happy,sad,joyous,elated,satisfied,unsatisfied,depressed,stressed,exhuberent,positive,nothing ,no nothing ever remains the same.I find this absolutely fascinating that each day as we wake to this glorious world that God has made ,that we never really ever know what that day will have for us ,whatwill become of the day,what will happen in that day,will it be good ,will it be bad ,will we be happy ,surprised ,sad???We all take life for granted ,Not a one of us is ever thankful enough for all that we do have ,we always want more,We all assume we will continue to awake daily ,never thinking that one day we will cease to exist .And how do we treat our lives?The majority of us ,wake complaining either about money,our bodies hurting,bills we have to pay,someone else bothering us or making us miserable ,that we're tired,exhausted,don't really want to do anything.!How many of us wake up and rejoice and are just happy to know that we get to live another day,,that we are thankful for what we have and have been given,!How many of us take a look around and really look around and are happy for all we have in our lives ,and are grateful for each and everything.WELL!!!!

Hard to cling tight to faith and hope at times

Well this week has been very ,very tough and grueling,and painful to me.I have been hit ,slammed,pushed down as hard as one can be within a 48 hour period.I am a strong woman of faith ,who's faith very rarily quivers.However this week it has been challenged to the very brink of insanity almost.I had seen a chiropractor a very well known one for the first time ,he took xrays and such due to a disc i had removed early on in life as well as having many bulging disc's in my neck .Seemed like it was just a normal routine thing ,well that changed in a hurry .The Dr called me the very next day asking permission to talk with my regular physician and to be able to send copies of my xrays to him ,now first of all this is absolutely not normal practice for this chiropractor ,rarely does he want to speak with anothers Dr.Secondly he called me early the following day asking questions about cancer in my family ,asking alot of health questions,i asked him what is this about ?,he replied there are somethings i need to discuss with you on wednesday when you come for the appointment ,i will not discuss over the phone.So i pretty much jumped out of my skin waiting until this wednesday mar 11th.I went to the appointment ,to find out he wanted to take more xrays ,and then came some of the news,he had found something in my abdomen ,a tumorous growth,he said he needed to get in touch with my regular physician to discuss before he could say anymore,then went on to say he would try to call later that night.Before we left the office he talked with my friend Lynda asking if she would be around me that eve ,that he was going to call and ask me to go somewhere special to get checked and that he hoped she would be with me for support,so we waited,and waited but the call didn't come,we figured he wasn't able to reach my regular Dr ,so we figured he would call the next day but did not call,so we now figure he is checking with numerous people before speaking with me about this.so that was the first crisis and current crisis as i am awaiting answers.The second thing was i had been receiving unemployment since i was put out of job at end of year last year,well now a new years claim began and all was fine ,then BAM,out of the blue they started withholding the money because a past seasonal employer from last year reported something very incorrect and because of it ,it was under investigation and will take 4 to 6 weeks to get it all corrected,and in the meantime i sit with O absolutely no money coming in until it is all corrected .I am so close to the verge of just snapping emotionally i am so pushed to the edge right now ,and it is very hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel of these problems.And to make matters worse i lost my health insurance when i lost my job at the end of last year ,and with what they found in my abdomen it is most likely going to mean surgery,which will bring about thousands of dollars of medical bills.The insanity of all this is enough to cause me to shut down and hide away.I cry alot,my head is spinning trying to come up with how to handle all this,,my faith is still there but on shaky ground at the moment ,i am strong ,i am a survivor ,,,But this is all almost too much for one to bear and hold up under.I pray that my strength holds during this excrutiating,painful time i'm in right now.Very hard to cling to faith and hope when being pushed right to the edge of all you can handle.Please all who read pray for strength for me,thanks,,blessing to all.

Tests of faith in our life

Hello ,faith,believing,knowing,and trusting when we go through circumstances and trials in our life.I have been challenged on this many times over the last year,and no surprise that it seems as soon as one circumstance passes another comes to replace it.This year not only has my patience been tested ,but also my ability to cope,the ability to endure,and my ability to handle things appropriately.Between losing a long term job that i was very good at,and watching loved ones fall apart while in terrible lifestyle situations,to finding myself looking for a place to live unexpectedly,and to the gut and heart wrenching emotional rollercoaster of waiting to see if a child of yours has cancer.the one thing i have learned through all this ,is the strength to survive .What i mean by this ,is the strength i have found through my faith!If you don't give up,if you don't bow out in fear,if you don't run from a horrible situation,and instead look through clear glasses not rose color ones ,and rely on hope along with your faith,well then my friends i have found you can make it,endure and be strong through all things .Faith my friends is the ultimate tool to get us through any possible thing,problem or situation we could possibly go through,and let me tell you ,they are many to go through in our walk of life!But if we do not turn from them ,and we don't just throw in the towel.Then if we stand up to them with faith and hope ,well then it's almost a given that they will turn out exceptionally well.You see if we face them with fear and insecurity and worry ,we then give them the power to turn out negative ,and the power to control us and keep us stuck right where they want us.But if we face them with a strong desire with faith and hope ,and positivity,well then they will turn out much better than ,and almost always with a good result!So to all my friends i say ... Keep your faith,your hope ,and your positive attitudes strong ,and in all things you will succeed!Blessings to all,Pam

true friendships of life

I decided to write a blog about the blessings of true friendships in my personal adventures of my life.I have had and will use the term a rollercoaster ride of a life thus far,ever changing.I've made good choices and i've made bad choices,but through it all i have found true friendships.True friendship is a blessing.True friends i have learned are the ones who never look at you any different no matter what your choices,no matter what you go though,no matter what crisis you may be in ,or with whatever makes you happy in life.They are there through thick and thin ,hurt and pain,happiness and joy,tears and fears.They never leave your side or abandon you,they don't forsake or judge you.They're arms are there to hold and comfort you when your down and blue.They never look the other way ,or act as if you don't exist when you are in crisis.They cry with you,they laugh with you,they get angry over situations with you,they encourage and uplift you when your down.Through bad times i went through i had lost pieces of myself ,esteem,self worth,i was angry! As i found my true friendships in life i regained my lost parts of me to be even a more kinder ,loving ,caring person than before ,i regained my giving and caring spirit,my excitement to live life again.Even the grace and trust to love again came back!Oh ,i had many friends over the years ,,but just a few real and true friendships.My few true friends have been there through evry slice of my life ,,especially the hard times ,they never looked at me as an inconvienance or problem,they opened they're hearts,arms and sometimes even their home to me.Although i have had many friendships,,and a few very true friendships ,i am dedicating this particular blog to especially one woman,,Her name is Lynda,she has been my mentor,my friend,my confident ,and someone whom i can trust fully with any and all things that i confide in her.She has always had my back,always has lifted me back up when i have fallen,has been my shoulder ,my rock,a solid foundation for support and wisdom.She is truly what the meaning of true friendship is.Recently i have had a crisis happen to me that was completely out of my control,,she immediately came to my rescue,held me up as i fell apart emotionally,gave me strength and endurance to get through this crisis ,and very kindly with her sweet spirit opened up her home to me ,knowing that it would more than likely cause others residing in home to be a bit uncomfortable and possibly cause conflict.She is an incredible woman with a huge heart of gold bigger than any i have ever known. I am most appreciative that god has placed her in my life to love and care about me! And this blog is just a small way that i can thank her for truly caring about me with true and undying friendship! Thank you lynda for all you have done and continue to do for me,,I love you ,pam

Hey everyone, this is my first blog on this site, unfortunately I don't have a scanner at moment to add pictures, so it's not too exciting visually, but I wanted to write about life and its' ever changing rollercoaster ride, this laast year has been quite a whirlwind for me, many, many changes, I'll start with this: I had a terrible fall last year that put me out of work for a month. I had 3 bulging discs from slipping down a flight of icy steps, I still have some trouble with it, but I quickly healed from it as I'm a strongwilled person. The second thing, I met a wonderful man that treated me very well , but unfortunately he had unfinished business from his past in a couple areas. This was a hard break for me as I had to walk away for my own sanity, but I truly loved him deeply and he loved me. The third thing, I had worked for a greenhouse seasonally for 5 solid years, and this year the boss (who previously was a friend of mine), became verbally abusive to all, due maybe to taking on too many things in life, and I had to quit that job. It was tough because I had never quit a job in my life, nor been fired, but it was for the best. The fourth thing, I had worked for LANDS END INC. for 5 full years, was 98% in customer sales and service, and due to restructuring of the company by SEARS, I was cut/let go, for no valid reason , they wouldn't even give unemployment a reason for letting me go. It was ridiculous, so at present I'm unemployed but only momentarily. This was a huge blow to me emotionally, I have always been a model employee and won tons of awards, had never ever in my lifetime been fired from any place I had worked. Fifth.... I finally thought I had met the man of my dreams last october. He treated me like a princess, flowers, cards, speaking uplifting loving words constantly. He would drive 90 miles to see me and he took me everywhere. But alas he began to pressure me about more -marriage - moving up here near me, and that sort of thing. It was all way too fast, and when I told him I was not okay with the fast forward speed he wanted, well, then he started throwing my past in my face and called my feelings "rules", WOW!!! I was stunned, but I have learned to respect myself and care about my feelings enough not to accept things like that anymore, so after 3 short months I walked away with my integrity and choices intact, NOW THOSE WERE ALL NEGATIVE CHANGES My back healed super fast, they said it would take 3 months and it only took a month. The first relationship taught me that I have learned to make better choices for my sanity, and future. Leaving the greenhouse showed me that I am now strong enough not to take verbal abuse from anyone, as I had lived with verbal abuse for 25 years in my 2 marriages. I have become a very srong, surviving female in this world and I can be independent and be okay, LANDS END firing me became a blessing in disguise it opened up many doors, I am now going for my GED, I didn't finish high school due to my mother passing from cancer during those years, so I'm goal oriented enough now to do this. I may also going to be going to school to become a licensed daycare teacher or another valid profession. It will be a new chapter/opportunity in life and I do love children. The 2nd relationship taught me things are not always what they seem, even if it all seems right you have to look deeper sometimes past the glamour and the hype and that is a good life lesson to learn. Learning to wait and look deeper can save a lot of problems and heartache/hurt. More blessings were that I have had the opportunity to spend more time than ever with my 2 daughters, my son, and my grandbabies who are my joy, as well as having more time for family and friends.
ALL IN ALL BLESSINGS TO ALL
WHITEWINGPAM